'Small swift graceful antelope of Africa and Asia having lustrous eyes'

Say what you like about [Europes #1 24-Hour Sports News channel] but one thing you can't accuse them of is lacking the ability to fill hour upon hour with rumour, conjecture - and a nice graphic to illustrate the rumour and conjecture - presented as news.

Monday this week saw the closing of the football transfer window. In past years this has seen a day of frantic big-budget trading amongst the worlds top clubs but this year, of course, things were different. Like the rest of us, football is [finally] feeling the pinch. Despite the best efforts of the presenters - who did their best to hype the rumours they were receiving from their reporters located in various stadium and training ground car-parks up and down the country - the day was lacking in any real excitement.

Things reached something of a low-point when we were told, in fevered tones 'news just in, [player we've never heard of] will not now be leaving Doncaster and moving to Preston'.

Not an exact quote I admit, but not a million miles away.

At 5 o'clock, as the 'window' closed in England we were comforted with the news that the days excitement wasn't over as we were treated to a lovely graphic explaining how the window would remain open for a while yet across Europe's top leagues (and Scotland).

As the week wore on, and with news thin on the ground (despite John Terr's best efforts) viewers to the channel were able to enjoy a feature highlighting the aerial abilities of Everton's Australian midfielder Tim Cahill who, despite being someway short of six foot tall has a tremendous record of headed goals.

Experts were interviewed and highlighted Cahill's ability to find space, get a good leap, 'hang' in the air (is that physically possible) and direct a firm header.

If we still weren't convinced by the experts, back in the studio it was graphic time - sure Cahill was a good jumper but just how good was he?

A flea, we were shown, can jump as high as one foot. A cat can jump even higher. Crikey! As each animal in turn was able to jump higher than the one before the feature climaxed with the news that a gazelle can jump nearly 14 feet. Remarkable.

[Europes #1 24-Hour Sports News channel] - when they do things well, they do it VERY well. At other times they illustrate how high a flea can jump.

I'm off to find out what lustrous means - back next week.